Hope
by Meri Ann
Summary: It’s the story about one page of Bridget’s diary during the first movie. It's when she still didn't have anything with Marc or Daniel. She is looking for someone and her hopes are fragile. An occasion that many womans have to get over.


_It's the story about one page of Bridget's diary during the first movie. _

_In this period, she met Marc in New Year and hasn't had anything with Daniel Cleaver yet. I hope you enjoy._

Date: XX/XX

Today is a little cold. I watched to TV all day (it's Sunday) and now I'm writing because I don't have anything special to do.

On this Friday, Daniel, my boss, praised about my work. Have I said he's cute? Sure, a hundred times. Sometimes, I think…that my feelings are not just platonic. Sometimes, I see something else in his eyes when he's looking at me. Maybe I'm having an illusion, lost my mind, thinking, dreaming… Maybe I should stop writing and eat something else!

Here I am.Again.

Well, I ate a great piece of a chocolate cake. I don't wanna imagine how much calories it have. With a glass of wine, of course.

I want to do something! I want to walk, to see a movie, go to restaurant to eat something different, theater…something else, but not alone. With my friends? No…I met them yesterday. My parents? They like just be at home together in this kind of weather.

Actually, I know what exactly I need. A boyfriend… That's so hard to write it…I had 33 years to find someone and nothing. I'd like to say that I'm Ok, I don't need a man to be complete. Or, I don't have a man but I have the rest. But this is the problem. The rest doesn't have a meaning without a person to share.

I have a nice job, good friends, good parents…and …why am I so…empty?

The human is very funny. He always wants more. For example, when I was a child, I prayed every day to make many friends. Then I wanted to pass in a university, then I wanted a good job. I had it at all ( almost everything at least). And now I want a boyfriend, then I would like to ask myself, what will I wish in the next?

Does soul mate really exist? What's true love? And why the all fairy tales has determinates that the princess will just live happy ever after with a damn it perfect and gorgeous prince!

I hate myself when the people look at me, and I don't have an arm to hold. I'm always by myself and must seems strong and happy. Always pretending.

Before writing, I read previous pages of my diary. All the pages have the same subject. Complain, solitude , despair … For a time, I haven't been like this. I had courage to seduce or asking for a date whenever and whoever I want. I used to be hopeful and happy, even I didn't have a right guy. But now, I see that I can't fight against the time. I'm so tired to ask and look for… I'm so tired to desire and fight!

The friendly people said to me: "Hold on, Bridge. One day, you'll find the right guy."

Right guy…One day…How long should I live with this terms? How long should I have to wait? I feel so hopeless…so loser…

I know the kind of a man I want. He doesn't to be perfect. He can be ugly untill. I just want to fell that burn…my heart beating fast…Someone who I can share a bottle of wine, a view about any book or movie…go to the corner together to buy a cigarette. With a short conversation and looking in his eyes, I definitely would know if he is the one.

By the way, last month, my mom introduced me a lawyer to date. I think I already have written about him (Marc Darcy,remember?), but without certain details. Probably I swore at him. But… that day, in this new year, he said the truth. I have no attractive to any man. My type is out. And I hope he goes to hell for telling me this truth! I didn't want to abuse him again, but it's inevitable. He was so rude, so cheeky… so $&&$ ! I'll curse him! One day he will date a woman that talk about shit, smoke like a smokestack and dress like her mother!

Ok, this is enough. I don't want to remember him. He makes me feel bad. Really bad.

Well, I think I'll take a shower. After this I'll be fine. This careless is passable, isn't it?

I will find someone nice, the right guy…one day…won't I?


End file.
